Mediation in case of transgressive behaviour - Moitshepi - Vertrouwenspersoon

Mediation in case of transgressive behaviour

When problems arise having a good conversation is usually a good way to navigate towards a good solution. In some cases however emotions run high and having a productive conversation is difficult. In those cases a mediator can be a helpful tool to get to talking and work towards a good solution.

When it comes to transgressive behavior people often have very different experiences. It can be challenging when people have different recollections of their behavior. When there are big discrepancies in the experiences and when people can not agree on what happened how can you work towards making clear agreements for the future. A mediatior will work to get a conversation started and provide some structure.

A mediator has a zoomed out and neutral viewpoint and he / she uses that to look at the different sides and aspects of a case. The mediator is completely independent. In cases of inappropriate behavior, it is often necessary that at some point there is a conversation between the complainant and complaintee. However perceptions often differ and it can be useful if there is an independent party who can zoom out above the various perceptions and interests in order to arrive at a good solution.

A practical example, an employee of a arts and music school experienced that she was not accepted by the new manager. In her experience, the new manager had it in for her. After a meeting with the internal confidential advisor, the employee went to H.R. went to complain about her experiences. The employee was so upset that she almost called in sick. Human Resources suggested entering into a discussion with the manager with the support of a mediator. In the conversation with the mediator the manager indicated that he was very satisfied with the employee and therefore asked more of her because he felt he could rely on her. Two completely different experiences… The conversation was able to solve lingering issues and prevent escalation by making some clear agreements.

Mediation in case of transgressive behaviour

When problems arise having a good conversation is usually a good way to navigate towards a good solution. In some cases however emotions run high and having a productive conversation is difficult. In those cases a mediator can be a helpful tool to get to talking and work towards a good solution.

When problems arise having a good conversation is usually a good way to navigate towards a good solution. In some cases however emotions run high and having a productive conversation is difficult. In those cases a mediator can be a helpful tool to get to talking and work towards a good solution.

When it comes to transgressive behavior people often have very different experiences. It can be challenging when people have different recollections of their behavior. When there are big discrepancies in the experiences and when people can not agree on what happened how can you work towards making clear agreements for the future. A mediatior will work to get a conversation started and provide some structure.

A mediator has a zoomed out and neutral viewpoint and he / she uses that to look at the different sides and aspects of a case. The mediator is completely independent. In cases of inappropriate behavior, it is often necessary that at some point there is a conversation between the complainant and complaintee. However perceptions often differ and it can be useful if there is an independent party who can zoom out above the various perceptions and interests in order to arrive at a good solution.

A practical example, an employee of a arts and music school experienced that she was not accepted by the new manager. In her experience, the new manager had it in for her. After a meeting with the internal confidential advisor, the employee went to H.R. went to complain about her experiences. The employee was so upset that she almost called in sick. Human Resources suggested entering into a discussion with the manager with the support of a mediator. In the conversation with the mediator the manager indicated that he was very satisfied with the employee and therefore asked more of her because he felt he could rely on her. Two completely different experiences… The conversation was able to solve lingering issues and prevent escalation by making some clear agreements.

What does a mediator do

A mediator has a number of different tasks, in essence we have to ensure that 2 parties with different interests come to a good solution that works for both of them.

We look at the facts, what the effects have of those facts have been and we interview the people involved. During the meeting, we ensure that all interests are heard and we provide structure. If necessary, the reporter or the accused can be assisted during this process by an internal or external confidential adviser.

A mediator will look at the following aspects to get an overview of the situation.

1. What actually happened and when did it happen.

In order to arrive at a good solution, it is important that we have a clear picture of exactly what happened. We only look at the facts and the chronological order of the facts. We hear both sides of the story. Both the reporter and the person against whom the report is made are given the opportunity to tell their story. That conversation always takes place separately. We do this to gain a clear insight into what exactly happened that led to the report.

2. What are the experiences of the other person.

What are the feelings or thoughts that came to the surface of the reporter that led to the making the report against the person. What are the feelings and thoughts of the accused. In addition to the facts, it is important to listen to the internal experience of both parties. Every person is different and that ensures that the delivery and experience is often very different. The accused may not have the intention at all to harm the reporter or may not be aware of any harm, even though the reporter may experience the behavior as inappropriate.

3. What was the reaction that arose from that.

The facts colored by our own experiences and emotions often lead to actions. For example, a manager slammed the door (fact) this made me feel very unsafe and (feeling) this made me avoid the manager and I no longer dare to give feedback, even though this is important in my position (action) it is good to get a clear overview of the actions taken by both parties, perhaps colored by their own interpretation of the facts.

4. Finding for an outcome that works for everyone.

Now that all facts, interests and emotions have been inventorized, we will look for a good solution. It is important that we find a solution that everyone can agree with so that harmony returns. This is done by talking to each other. Both parties can put wishes on the table if necessary. Together we will look at how we can come to a compromise. Usually this means making agreements. The mediator will write these down in a rapport.

I need a mediator but what now?

If there is a situation where mediation is required, Moitshepi can be of service to your organization. We respond to a request within 24 hours and often we can quickly schedule an appointment.

Even tough Moitshepi wants to be of service to your organization, transparency is something we value. To avoid conflicts of interest, we do not mediate in cases where we have involvement in our role as an external confidential adviser. In that case we can recommend a good mediator to help you out.

Costs

In the case of mediation we charge an hourly rate. After the intake, we will make an offer based on an estimate of the number of hours. It often takes 2 to 3 hours to make an inventory and to have separate conversations with both the reporter and the accused. In addition, another 2 hours is needed for the mediation meeting and the report.

With proper mediation, problems can often be resolved before they escalate. This has many benefits that save costs in the long run. Think of preventing absenteeism or a formal procedure such as a formal complaint. Mediation can be very effective to restore harmony within the organization.

If you would like to use our other services, please do not hesitate to contact us.

I need a mediator but what now?

If there is a situation where mediation is required, Moitshepi can be of service to your organization. We respond to a request within 24 hours and often we can quickly schedule an appointment.

Even tough Moitshepi wants to be of service to your organization, transparency is something we value. To avoid conflicts of interest, we do not mediate in cases where we have involvement in our role as an external confidential adviser. In that case we can recommend a good mediator to help you out.

Costs

In the case of mediation we charge an hourly rate. After the intake, we will make an offer based on an estimate of the number of hours. It often takes 2 to 3 hours to make an inventory and to have separate conversations with both the reporter and the accused. In addition, another 2 hours is needed for the mediation meeting and the report.

With proper mediation, problems can often be resolved before they escalate. This has many benefits that save costs in the long run. Think of preventing absenteeism or a formal procedure such as a formal complaint. Mediation can be very effective to restore harmony within the organization.

If you would like to use our other services, please do not hesitate to contact us.